Man Hating Psycho Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Change :)

  Line

  Pain in the Neck

  Middle English Bestiary

  vodafone.co.uk/help

  Nothing Old, Nothing New, Nothing Borrowed, Nothing Blue

  Pro Life

  Taylor Wimpey ‘99’ Horror

  I Just Want To Pull Down Your Panties And Fuck You

  Married To The Streets

  Victim Blaming

  About the Author

  About the Publisher

  Copyright

  CHANGE :)

  +44 7723 018520 created the group ʻCHANGE :)ʼ

  +44 7723 018520 added you

  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  Hi all. I know I’ve not been in touch with some of you for a long time so apologies for messaging out of the blue like this but I’d like your help to bring about CHANGE :) ! The election is coming and whether you love or hate Corbyn, we will either end up with a far-right hard Brexit under Boris Johnson or a 2nd referendum and Green Industrial Revolution for a carbon neutral economy by 2030, £10 minimum wage and free university education Norway-style social democracy under Labour. I would like to share links to help have an informed debate given the biased mainstream media. if you are able to share any of the media you agree with on your social media we can help have a more balanced and informed campaign than will be possible if people’s main source of information is the BBC. If you don’t want to receive these links please remove yourself from the group. Hope ur blossoming warm wishes, Eddie x

  14.42

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  +44 7545 265555 ~ Vegan Veritas

  Hi Ed, thx for msg. I’ll b voting labour even though I’m not sure about Corbyn. Anything to get this lot out and maybe get a second ref.

  14.42

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Who is Ed? Who added me? Britain does not need a general election. What it needs is a military general!

  14.48

  [jpg: shrugging man]

  14.48

  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Who dis? Can we get a Norway style Brexit?

  14.49

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  +44 7769 357858 ~ GlitterSparklePuss

  Hey @Red_Ed. Haven’t heard from you since I told you I didn’t want to sleep with u and u got upset. Hope ur doing better and aren’t so predatory. Will def be voting labour though, look forward to the links :)

  15.00

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Who is Eddie? Show ur face! People are leaving this group like Brexit !!

  15.12

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  +44 7769 357858 ~ GlitterSparklePuss

  Hey @Red_Ed. Haven’t heard from you since I told you I didn’t want to sleep with u and u got upset. Hope ur doing better and aren’t so predatory. Will def be voting labour though, look forward to the links :)

  Lol who is @Red_Ed??

  15.30

  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Hahahahaha @GlitterSparklePuss, whoever you are that was fucking legendary

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  If Ed does not identify who they are I am out of here

  15.36

  +49 1525 9798906 ~ Random Idiot

  Would like to see the manifestos first in order to make an informed deicsion. Definitely do not trust cons. Lib dem are more likely to have a referendum than labour (corbyn does not look favourably at the eu). Cheers!

  15.36

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  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Anyone here from Canterbury?

  5.38

  +44 7460 682464 ~ Lollipop Princess

  What the hell

  15.38

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  +44 7460 682464 ~ Lollipop Princess

  Do not add me without my consent first

  15.38

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  +44 7717 285670 ~ Eve *Stop HS2*

  It’s so funny someone already mentioned no more contact since refusing to sleep with Eddie… This was also me. Wouldn’t call you predatory though… Quite passionate and somewhat sleazy yes. But that passion shows in your politics too ;)

  15.38

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  +44 7834 862716 ~ Yors Tru Lee

  I’m voting labour. C ya on the other side Eddie. Thnks for the effort

  15.39

  +44 7904 049491~ Piotr El Gryko

  Hi Ed, thanks for adding me to this group. I plan to vote against the tories/hard right government. This means ideally libdem or labour depending on which works out for tactical voting.

  15.39

  +44 7506 433203 ~ Name is a Country

  I don’t vote. Thnx.

  15.39

  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Why am I in Red Ed’s failed hareem group text?

  15.39

  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  :)

  15.39

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  +44 7470 041911 ~ Muchos Muchos Marley

  Sending you love and supporting Corbyn… But I’m on too many social messaging groups. Ciao .)

  15.40

  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Okay am out this group is strange thats two people refusing to sleep with Red Ed

  15.40

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  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  Thanks okay

  15.40

  Thanks for the messages

  15.40

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  +44 7508 024130 ~ Yuliana Not Juliana

  Dunno what this is but will vote for labour

  15.41

  +44 7932 142975 ~ Kareema Gopta

  Good luck with the campaign. I will also be voting against far right politics. Don’t want to receive upda
tes here. Hope you are well.

  15.41

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Please who is Eddie?

  15.42

  +44 7850 466910 ~ iHole

  Who cares?

  15.42

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  +44 7854 488586 ~ Kristy ʻPower-Balladʼ Turlington

  Hi Edward, I also haven’t seen you since I was 17 (back in 2013, I believe?) when at least you weren’t actually sure whether or not you wanted to sleep with me. I would leave the group but am finding this all too entertaining…

  15.42

  +44 7817 732542 ~ Jess

  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Please who is Eddie?

  Seriously I’d love to know too :)

  15.42

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  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Burning man, group texting, corbyn voting Casanova

  15.42

  I’m guessing i’m here because some girl gave him a random number?

  15.43

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  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Who is he where did he get my number from? What kind of fuckery is this

  15.43

  +44 7446 039423 ~ Lil Kikko

  Hey Ed, why have you never tried to sleep with me? I’m offended

  15.44

  +44769 357858 ~ GlitterSparklePuss

  :D :D

  15.45

  +44 7446 039423 ~ Lil Kikko

  [gif: girl sticking out tongue]

  15.45

  +44 7817 732542 ~ Jess

  +44 7446 039423 ~ Lil Kikko

  Hey @Red_Ed, why have you never tried to sleep with me? I’m offended

  :D:D:D:D:D:D

  15.45

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  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  +44 7956 859558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Please who is Eddie?

  @Lowercase_Guy it’s Ed from self-empowerment spoken word event years ago

  15.45

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  + 44 7956 859 558 ~ Lowercase_Guy

  Haha yeeeaaaars ago and you are only just getting in touch? All politicians are the same. We need to cancel democracy

  15.47

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  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  https://mirror.co.uk/news/politics/furious-theresa-snaps-2075633

  Furious Theresa May snaps at Tory MPs for mocking Jeremy Corbyn’s Grenfell tie

  As families of those who died looked on from the public galleries, some Tory MPs decided to mock the bright green tie

  15.47

  +44 7761 963737 ~ Tech Bro

  I’ve slept with Ed loads of times. He’s pretty good. You lot are missing out.

  15.47

  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  Oh guys this is really really embarrassing

  15.48

  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  I would sleep with him if I had any idea who the fuck he was

  15.48

  +44 7769 357858 ~ GlitterSparklePuss

  +44 7761 963737 ~ Tech Bro

  I’ve slept with Ed loads of times. He’s pretty good. You lot are missing out.

  Not really that funny

  15.48

  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  I thought I’d make a big Whatsapp group and do my bit to help with the election.

  15.48

  +44 7979 008162 ~ Marshmellow Man

  Mate this is definitely going on reddit

  15.49

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  +44 7723 018520 ~ Red Ed

  @GlitterSparklePuss I don’t know how to respond to your message apart from it’s years since I’ve seen u and I wish you’d have said at the time

  15.49

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  +44 7889 364743 ~ Butt Smasher

  I want an environmentally sustainable economy, human rights for everyone, end to the arms trade, no more borders, a free and fair society. I’m voting labour.

  15.52

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  +49 1525 9798906 ~ Random Idiot

  Please do not close this group… this has honestly made my day

  16.00

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  +44 7761 963737 ~ Tech Bro

  Ed may have ended up swinging the election for the tories the way this is going.

  16.01

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  +44 7954 158322 ~ Liam

  Hey Ed! how are you? Been ages! I like your dream for 2030 may it happen! Will be voting tactically for remain. Either libdem or labour i’m delighted lab offering peoples vote if they win that’s a good move i will watch for updates with interest xliam

  16.01

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  +44 7920 004590 ~ lotusoftheskies

  +44 7761 963737 ~ Tech Bro

  Ed may have end up swinging the election for the tories the way this is going.

  Definitely ʻswingingʼ

  16.20

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  +44 7701 072434 ~ Jody

  Good luck with this! I am not yet eligible to vote yet but sad to see the way the conversation is going,. Right wing trolls r real.

  16.26

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  +49 1525 9798906 ~ Paul

  Have not met ‘ed’ yet…but we have spoken a few times on the phone to discuss my parties. He comes across as a very thoughtful guy. I like to think some of those comments above are about the younger version of him… He seems very likeable. just thought I would be a little more positive…

  16.26

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  +44 7861 293426 ~ Anna Lisa

  Sending all good wishes to you ed.

  16.27

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  +44 7763 668549 ~ Guen Benedetto

  Hi ed! I can’t vote as not british but i usually canvass and do outreach with other groups - I’ve gathered this is about labour … fingers crossed folks!

  16.28

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  +44 7765 356372 ~ Anita Sixsmith

  Who is this?

  16.31

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  +44 7765 356372 ~ Anita Sixsmith

  This isnt eds number

  17.16

  Your sending messages to the wrong number

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  +44 7766 395558 ~ Chazzy ChaChing

  Going to vote! Let’s make a change

  18.02

  +44 7765 356372 ~ Anita Sixsmith

  We are not eddie

  18.02

  +44 7834 862716 ~ Yors Tru Lee

  @GlitterSparklePuss.. u r missing out… Ed’s got a huge cucumber!..

  18.10

  +44 7765 356372 ~ Anita Sixsmith

  Your sending messages to the wrong number we are not eddie

  18.12

  +44 7512 843141 ~ Star O’Reilly

  This is a group chat Anita

  18.12

  +44 7765 356372 ~ Anita Sixsmith

  Group chat with who?

  18.13

  +44 7512 843141 ~ Star O’Reilly

  Group chat with everyone in the group. What year r u living in?

  18.13

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  +44 7712 421368 ~ Imogen

  Failed harem indeed! @GlitterSparklePuss & eve and I had a similar experience, think of all the other women whom have found themselves in a predatory situation with Ed. I thought we could be friends until I realised being female meant I didn’t have a choice in his advances. My friend also experienced his unwelcome advances. We agreed to stay away.

  18.30

  It looks as though your address book is full of bad decisions Eddie. Hope you change your ways.

  18.34

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  +44 7789 740193 ~ El Duccio

  Anyone up for a halloween party?

  https://www.facebook.com/events/686369241858633

  18.37

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